My insides...

Yesterday I caught a glimps of a spider web on my way to work. It was one of those huge ones with a respectively huge spider sunning smack-dab in the middle. I was amazed at how it seemed to be suspended in mid-air. I've always been facinated by these little orb weevers. Here's what got me...this little spider does exactly what it was created to do all day long knowing nothing else and never even thinking of doing something opposite of what it was created to do. Oh, to be one of these creatures...never wandering away, never making willing and thought out choices to go against God's plan for me. How I long to be exactly as my Savior has created me...to sing and dance for joy because of His great love and mercy! The comforting thought in all this is that He takes me back every time I wander...His arms are open wide...every time.

I've been reading Fresh-Brewed Life by Nicole Johnson (as mentioned in previous blogs). The following quotes from her captures some of my insides as well.

Each longing in my life that I have discovered, or that has discovered me, drives me to confront a truth that I might not have confronted otherwise: I need God. I am thirsty for God. Desperately thirsty.

God is the only One big enough to hold our longings.

Through it all...all these longings...theses undeniable longings...they all point me to Him.

Photo by CountryDreaming/Flickr

Pierced through the.........NOSE!!!

Last Saturday Paul and I took the bike down to the River Market Coffee House for a Mocha, then to KUMed, and then to FreaksonBroadway! We waited for a bit and then the cutest little, pierced and tatted girl, named Steeny, pierced my nose. And let me tell you...I love it! And I love Paul for taking me down there, holding my hand, and then telling me that it looked good. I'm married to the greatest man ever!

For all you wondering what it's like...it's really not that bad. It's more of a weird sensation having a needle go through your nose and then just kind of hang there until Steeny put the little stud in.

Oh, so fun! The pics not that great b/c it's off my phone but you get the idea.

Longing

"For when all is said and done, there is only this to say: No matter how sweet the event, how consoling the moment, there is always a deep longing within us that cuts like a knife. It is a yearning that stirs even when (or perhaps most often when) the air is flooded with sunshine and the sky dazzles us with color and light. Then this unutterable loneliness that we feel is in no way justified. Yet in the midst of our gratitude for the beauty of created things, we know in our very bones that there is something yet to be given. The emptiness is the mark and reminder of God. By this sense of what is not, we know what is and what is yet to be."

- Fresh-Brewed Life

Pastel Sky - Photo by MikePhoto25's/Flickr

Journal

I've been reading this book Fresh-Brewed Life by Nicole Johnson. Last night as I began reading this quote struck me.

"And the day came when the risk (it took) to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." -Anais Nin

So, it got me thinking about life and how real I've been with myself and God. Let me just say...I've been hiding. You know how you finally take a minute to breath and that little voice inside you gets your attention? He finally got me to listen for a few minutes last night and answer the questions that I've come to hate and love all at the same time. "Are you making a difference?" I've come to hate that question because it usually gets my attention when I'm not doing anything worth while. I don't think I'm making a difference and I don't think I've been investing my life in things that matter. Ouch, that's pretty painful to admit and express. I usually spend the whole day just thinking about what I want to and just being selfish. Oh, sure, I have my minutes and maybe even a day or two when I think about the lost and the hungry but those are few and far between. I'd hate to meet my Savior face to face and not be able to tell Him how I loved and served Him. But here's the beautiful flip side to that questions...the part that I love...it gets me to a point where I actually do something worthwhile. I finally "start over" again and seek His face. And you know what's the greatest part? He meets me there every time with open arms ready to teach me how to live for Him and be a part of His story.

Cute girls...

Last weekend I headed to Lincoln to spend time with my family to celebrate my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary which was earlier this summer. I never get tired of seeing my family. This time was especially fun because my sister was back from Spain where she spent 7 weeks of the summer. Usually when the three of us girls get together we end up laughing so hard someone falls over and we all about pee our pants! (but not really) I know, I know...too much information but I love them! Aren't they cute?